I don’t even know if I can begin to list the things I’ve learned this year. To be sitting in my own office, the placard outside reading “Women’s Basketball,” and thinking about the fact that I am coaching my own college team is still such a shock to me. I know I don’t deserve such amazing blessings. Every time something happens that sends me into a state of immense stress and frustration I am reminded through some outside source that everything is ok, that I’m here for a greater purpose, and how much I love what I’m doing. There have been many nights this season where I neared the 12th hour of having been in my office and the only thing I can do is bury my head in my hands and pray. There have been countless sleepless nights, and others where I fall asleep watching game film. My poor futon has been put to good use as I would sit in it with a notebook in hand watching clips of previous games and then it calls me to rest my eyes for a second which usually turns into a few hours and I wake up still in my Otero polo with my computer humming and the image of a title screen from game film glowing. The stress has been almost indescribable, and is beyond a state of understandable to anyone besides a teacher or coach. And yet while we all face high stakes situations that often seem to bury us alive, every day we find a reason to rise and when we actually take time to reflect we see why we do this, and remember that we wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
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| I leave my office for 5 mintues and this is what I walk into.... |
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| The note that accompanied the chaos (I don't like that!) |
On our return trip from the Region IX tournament we stopped at a Wendy’s in Limon, CO. After eating I figured it would be smart to go to the bathroom before we boarded the bus to finish the last stretch of the journey home. An elderly man entered the restroom and jokingly said, "Has anyone ever asked you if were a basketball player?" In his defense my recent hair cut makes me look 18 years old (some even say 12). I told him I was a coach now and he responded, “Thank you for working with the next generation.” I smiled as I dried my hands and said thank you as I walked out. This gentleman knows nothing about me beyond the fact that I’m a coach, and yet his words made getting beat in the region tournament more than bearable. I’ve had many other people keep my work in perspective and my frustrations in check. Like I said earlier, the things I’ve learned this year near countless, but the lessons are unforgettable and bring a smile to my face whenever I think of them.
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| My birthday fell on the day of our return trip from the tournament. The girls made me birthday cake - Hostess cupcakes with gas station matches in them. |
Some of the grander scale things I’ve learned are that you have to define your goals and compare them with your priorities, and if they don’t match, something has to change. I’ve learned that in the midst of drama sometimes it’s best not to do anything. I’ve learned that you need to ask yourself what kind of legacy you want to leave and see if you’re doing things that will leave that legacy. I’ve learned that I have no idea what is and what isn’t a foul, but I do know that officials have ruined girl's/women’s basketball. I’ve learned that you need to tell kids that you care about them and that you love them even if you’re showing it. I’ve learned that the process is more important than the prize, and you have to coach both basketball and life as a process. I’ve learned that sometimes you make shots and sometimes you just miss shots (In the region tournament we just missed shots. 19% from the field in the second half of our region tournament loss). I’ve learned that you can’t handle life much less excel at it without help and without friends. I’ve learned that in basketball making jump shots makes or breaks a team. I’ve learned that you have to teach kids how to love each other, and that the world’s perception of love is beyond skewed. And I’ve learned that when kids show heart, show love, show passion, it has a tendency to overwhelm me, and when there is any outpouring of it like there was on Monday afternoon in Scottsbluff, NE it brings me to tears of joy and pride.
When the Region IX tournament came upon us I was in shock with how quickly the season seemed to have gone. There had been nights, weeks, and seemingly months that I thought would never end, but even as I write this it feels almost like a dream with how quickly the season started and finished. Amidst the drama, the joy, the pain of loss, and the relief that was winning it’s hard to think that it’s over for now. My white board no longer has scout notes and team depth chart, it now has notes for next season and a recruiting chart. The recruiting season is almost as cutthroat as the regular season. It is so much more than selling your school, or your program, or even you as a coach. Long road trips, nights in hotels, fast food on the go (I’ve learned eating pizza and fried chicken while driving is more difficult than it sounds), and selling kids the world hoping they’ll sign with you. I have found it interesting that I haven’t run into any of my fellow JUCO coaches on my road trips, but I do keep seeing DII coaches everywhere I journey. I’m not sure if that means I’m on the right track looking at talent, or I’m in over my head.
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| New Mexico State Tournament |
Bottom line though is that we have to get better. I love my girls. All of them. But I wouldn’t be a good coach if I didn’t try to find athletes that were better than they are. As coaches we strive all season long to make our athletes and teams better, and even if we are one of the lucky few to win a championship that team will have player turnover, and even if they don’t, other teams will be working to be better and beat us. Within a game you work to be better half to half, time-out to time-out, play to play. You look to be better one practice to the next. The hard part comes with how the players respond to that. As I bring in players that, I hope, are better than my current ones will my returners elevate their game or will they be satisfied with where they are and hope they don’t get passed? Satisfaction is a dangerous sensation. Today's culture is on the hunt for satisfaction. To be satisfied with their jobs, satisfied with their financial situations, satisfied in their relationships. Does being satisfied though mean that we have reached the pinnacle and there is no higher pursuit, or does it mean that we have decided to no longer pursue something great. As a coach, I hope I never become satisfied with where I am. If a season passes where I look back and can't find something that I've learned or have something I need to get better at, then I need to walk away from the profession forever.
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| The gift from my girls for turning an ancient 25 years old. |
- Coach Kyle
